"Yo! I'm Really Happy for Y'all and I'ma Let Y'all Finish but..."

I'ma take it back and pull a Kanye West for a sec.

The sun is shining. It's summer time and all of that. I see yall out here shining and flexin' on the gram. Yall looking good. Much respect. But lemme get ya ear for a second.

It's been a while since I've fully immersed myself in the social media world. It's like I engage in spurts: one minute I'm super active on Twitter then I'd drop Twitter and move to Instagram. Now I'm mostly on Facebook and it's making me feel a bit old. Getting back to the point: I am beginning to see how quickly we can get caught up in the fantasy world of wanting to live and be like celebrities.

We envision ourselves drinking flat tummy tea on the daily with hopes that our stomachs end up as flat as postpartum Teyana Taylor or we see Eva Marcille with her luxurious Brazilian microlinks installed hair and spend hundreds of dollars on hair products and bundles to achieve the same look. I mean don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with wanting the finer things in life and wanting to look the part. I get it! Everyone has preferences but just because we have preferences that doesn't mean that our preferences are right or that they align with our lifestyles.

Here's what I know: I know that we are birthed from royalty and are children of the King. And because we were born in the Kingdom we have an inheritance that we are entitled to but all in the right timing!


I giggle when I hear that saying timing is everything because it just makes me think of the phrase "the glow up". It's a phrase that we often put under that really bold photo from the past and caption it something like:


Since this is a life blog here's my "Whoo thank God for the glow up" photo.

(You're welcome!)

I believe I was in middle school when this photo was taken. At this time Facebook was only for people in college and I think Crush Spot was popping, My Space may have been beginning to bloom but still I knew very little to nothing about the social media platforms at that time. Wanting to be someone else never crossed my mind. All I was really concerned with was getting good grades (some would say being the teachers pet), getting rid of that God awful acne and growing my hair. Pretty surface level stuff right?


I'm gonna stop for a second and allow us to take a moment to give God ALL the glory and honor! Let us praise him for granting us the opportunity to for growth and getting us up out of the puberty phase.


Y'ALL! That there is proof that things get better with time. ISSA FACT! Things really do get better with time...including us!

So who are we to rush the process with making purchases that we really can't afford, being someone that we really can't maintain being and most importantly growing up faster than we can mature and develop.

Sidebar: If I'm honest, I'm still very much in favor of 10 year old girls wearing pigtails and barrettes instead of sew ins. We allow our innocence to be taken from us too soon and then when we realize that adulting isn't what it's all cracked up to be we desire to be young and free again. When will we learn?

So what am I saying? Well, I'm saying let things maturate naturally. Let's work really hard (for some of us it's a literal fight with ourselves) to live in our authenticity and to embrace every phase of our lives (glow up or not). And understand that it won't be roses everyday. We will have those moments where we don't look or even feel pretty but that doesn't mean we aren't! And if we're doing it for other people. STOP IT! If you're having to change yourself to even attract or appeal to them then they're not for you sis/bro!

You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Every part of you. Your edges, your lashes, your hair follicles, your stomach, your waist, your thighs. All of that was carefully and masterfully created just for you!

Someone needed to hear this today! I am not sure if it was you or not but I know I needed to hear this for myself.

I won't lie I've slipped into the whole "Ohhh I think I want microlinks installed and hmmm can I get my brows microbladed?" a few times. Then I looked in the mirror and touched my hair and fell back in love with it. And even though this lady threaded off half my eyebrow and I'm walking around looking crazy trying to grow it back I still loved the way I looked. Flaws and all!

If we don't learn to love us for us then how can we expect others to do the same?

Share your thoughts below!

-Lauren Melissa

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© 2018 by Lauren M. McElrath. All rights reserved.